Saturday, December 12, 2009

E ssay #3-Final Draft- Wanted: Successful Student Writers

The English language is not an easy thing to master. If you take a look at different pieces of professional writing you would probably see a difference in the ways the authors present their information. If you talk to different teachers they will give you different information. So who’s right? How is a student supposed to learn how to write when there is so much conflicting information?

Every English teacher I have ever had has different ideas of what is really important when it comes to writing. Some have said that organization is the key, some think it is a strong thesis, some say it is grammar and punctuation, while others say it is presenting an argument, and supporting it. In my current class my teacher thinks that writing for an audience and maintaining a voice is the most important thing. In other classes I have had, teachers don’t even care as much about how the information is presented, just that it is presented at all. I have had classes where the teacher has written their own text book, and technically it is horribly written to the point that it is almost unreadable. So how is a student writer supposed to write to please their teachers if there are no overall rules to follow? I am a student and a writer, and I get confused of how to please my teachers while completing my assignments. So what advice would I give to other students? I would tell them that all of these things, about writing, that all of my teachers have told me over the years are equally important. If you don’t present an argument then the grammar doesn’t really mean anything, while if you use terrible grammar your argument may not be understood. To complete any assignment, in school, it is important to first understand what the assignment is, and what that specific teacher expects. Then the rest will come by using good organization, and making a clear, strong argument. It is important to maintain your own voice by presenting your information clearly, and then supporting it through the use of information from others that agree with you. Revision is also a very important aspect of writing because it allows you to go back as many times as you need to, making your assignment better each time. Not one of these processes is more important than the other, for they all complete the pieces of the writing puzzle.

Writing starts with having a voice. It is a conversation with an audience, even though you do not always know who that audience will be. Whether you are saying it out loud or posting it on a blog you are still the one saying whatever is being said, and that is important. Your voice is your voice and no one else’s, although in an academic situation sometimes you have to tone it down a little. In school we usually know who our audience is; the teacher. The teacher/audience is going to give you a grade so it is important to include the required information, but the way that you do that depends on you.

Early on in my educational career I had a teacher who asked us to write a paper on the subject of race. He was insistent that we did not touch on the subject of racism, but I felt that how could I talk about race without talking about racism. While researching for my assignment I found many people throughout history that said that the concept of race existed solely because of racism. Racism was the reason that people felt the need to classify people into races; it was to create a sense of superiority. I included ideas of racism anyways, and when I got my paper back from the teacher there was no grade and a note that said please come see me. I did and he told me I did not follow the assignment, and he would allow me to redo it. I said no because I felt that my argument was just, and the information that I used to maintain my argument was information that I got from him. I asked him why would he give us these articles, which include concepts of racism, if he did not expect us to use them? He was shocked by this and got angry. I then reminded him of how he had taught me to use my voice, and I did that. Whether he agreed with what I had to say or not didn’t matter because it was my essay, and I was not going to let him stifle my voice. That would go against everything he taught me. He was even more shocked, but he thought about it and said I was right. He reread my essay and said I made an interesting argument, and that he had not thought about it that way before. I got an A, and I maintained myself in the process. The moral of the story, be strong, don’t write something just because you have to. Make it interesting, and find something about the assignment that you want to talk about; the stronger the feelings, the stronger the voice, the stronger the assignment.

Now that you have a voice you need to give strength to it, and you can achieve this through the use of quotes from other sources that support what you trying to say. If you just ramble a bunch of thoughts onto a page, then people might ask who are you, or what makes you an authority? But if you give examples from other people then your reader will see that there are others, and you are not alone in the way you feel about things. In They Say, I Say Gerald Graff, Cathy Birkenstien, and Russel Durst say that giving support adds to the conversation. They say “that to give writing the most important thing of all—namely, a point— a writer needs to indicate clearly not only his or her thesis, but also what larger conversation that thesis is responding to.” They say the best way to do this is by providing support from other individuals. It is also important to use quotes that are directly related to your topic, and it is information that you understand.

In my experience, when I was an English tutor, many students would put quotes into their essays without truly understanding the point of the author. This just causes your argument to become vague, and confusing. Don’t just use information because you think it sounds intelligent, or the author used big words. It is important to use information that is meaningful to you. That when you read it, it caused the wheels in your brain to turn, and gave you inspiration. Sometimes this is the hardest part of completing an essay because it might take a lot of research to find the supporting information you need. In Ways of Reading An Anthology for Writers David Bartholomae and Anthony Petrosky say “one of the difficult things about reading is that the pages before you will begin to speak only when the authors are silent and you begin to speak in their place, sometimes for them—doing their work, continuing their projects—and sometimes for yourself, following your own agenda.” For students, most of the reading we do is for our own agenda because we need to complete assignments, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t find some kind of inspiration from what you are reading. Try to look for something that does cause you to think while you are reading. That is why we are students in the first place; to learn and expand our minds.

The next important piece of the puzzle is the way you organize it. Puzzle pieces only fit together one way, and it is the same for writing. An essay needs to have flow, and the only way to have that is by organizing your ideas into groupings. When you organize your file cabinet you wouldn’t, or shouldn’t, put your tax returns with your bank statements, instead you would make a separate folder for each, and an essay is the same way. A paragraph should only contain information that is relevant to that topic, and the topic sentence should reflect what that paragraph is going to be about. Graff, Birkenstein, and Durst say “The best compositions establish a sense of momentum and direction by making explicit connections among their different parts, so that what is said in one sentence (or paragraph) not only sets up what is to come but is clearly informed by what has already been said.” You achieve this through organization, and I find the best way for me to do this is by making an outline.

When I create an outline I first think about what is my thesis, and what I call, my mini thesis’s, which are the sub-topics of my body paragraphs. Once I have done this I know how many body paragraphs I will need to complete my essay. Next, I try to come up with a hook, which will be my first sentence and will, hopefully, draw my reader into my conversation. I do this for each paragraph, but for my body paragraphs I try to tie that first sentence to the last sentence of the previous paragraph to create direction, and flow. Now that I have a basic frame for my puzzle, I just let the information pour out onto the page, emptying all the relevant information from my mind, and allowing it to be transformed into the written word. I try to keep my information as organized as possible, but sometimes it is just rambling. This is OK. You can fix this quite easily, through the process of revision.

This last point I can’t stress enough; REVISE, REVISE, REVISE! There has never been a writer in the history of writers that has not revised their writing. In Shitty First Drafts Anne Lamont says “The first draft is the child’s draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later. You just let this childlike part of you channel whatever voices and visions come through and onto the page.” It is impossible to write something the first time and not have mistakes. We are human, and we make errors, but the great thing is errors can be fixed. You just have to find them, and that requires you to re-read your work. You can do this as many times as you want, making your paper better and better every time you do it. I, personally, like to sit in a room by myself and read my paper out load. I feel like hearing it out load helps me catch run-on sentences, grammar and punctuation errors, and lets me know if I have created an over-all clarity to my paper. Every writer does it, so in this situation; conform because sometimes conformity is a good thing. It definitely is when it comes to the process of revision. I promise you if you really focus on your revision process your grade will improve, maybe even change from a B to an A.

In the past, I did not focus on revision as much as I should have, and my grade definitely reflected that fact. There were times when I was sitting in class the day my assignment was due, looking it over, and I would see some stupid mistake that could have been fixed in less than a minute. I would be so angry because I knew that this was going to affect my grade, or cause me to have to complete some extra assignment that I could have avoided completely, if I had just read my paper one more time before I printed it out. Revision is not just a process of checking for run-on sentences, or grammar mistakes, it is also about checking for content. While you’re re-reading you want to make sure you are thinking about the argument you are trying to make, and that it is forming clearly as your paper progresses. Also, think about flow and repetition. Are you enjoying reading your paper? If you’re not, then nobody else is going to either; don’t bore or confuse your reader. You want them to remember and understand what you have written when they reach the last word. If they don’t then this page is going to be filed in the trash which would be very bad if you were hoping to receive nice comments and a good grade.

In Revision Strategies of Student Writers and Experienced Adult Writers Nancy Sommers says “students are aware of lexical repetition but not conceptual repetition. Because students do not see revision as an activity in which they modify and develop perspectives and ideas, they feel that if they know what they want to say, then there is little reason for making revisions.” Sommers says that this is what sets student writers apart from the experienced because they don’t understand the importance of revision, and all that is involved in the process. When I was a tutor, I found the biggest reason that students didn’t revise was laziness, and maybe a little anxiety. It’s ok, I am guilty of this myself. After you have worked on an essay you just want it to be done, and sometimes you are just sick of thinking about that topic. My suggestion is; find somebody else to read it over for you, or with you, but make sure that it is somebody who has some knowledge about writing, such as a teacher (yes, there are a few that will do this), a tutor (there free on campus), or a friend in the class who maybe did well on the last assignment. Going over your assignment with someone else can strike new interest in the subject through verbal conversation, or relieve anxiety through reassurance or help.

Now, just breathe, and know that it is going to be ok, or can be. Just remember to have fun, or try. Writing can be very rewarding when you produce something you like. If you like it then other people probably will to. When you’re a student this is a good thing because it means that you have pleased your audience which is your instructor, but you also can take pleasure in your assignment because you pleased yourself. You accomplished the most important thing; you learned something that will be useful in the future. A few other points that I can make, which are minor but still important; are watch out for you comma usage (if you’re not sure then don’t do it), look for ways to connect your sentences through the use of words like although, which, therefore, however, etc. (these words help create flow), and don’t be afraid to use personal examples that relate to your topic (it’s your paper, so it’s ok to use yourself as a source.) Ask for help, most teachers that you will encounter in your educational career are happy to help. This is why they teach and the schools pay their salaries, so take advantage of it when you can. Your money is at stake as well, so spend it wisely. I have been lucky in the past to have had teachers who have provided this assistance to me, but I had to speak up and ask for help. I, in time, became a proficient writer, but it took practice, and motivation to learn. I am still not perfect though, and no writer is, no matter how long they have been doing it. So relax, take pride in your writing, put a little thought behind it, and the puzzle will come together.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Essay #3- 3rd Draft

Wanted: Successful Student Writers
The English language is not an easy thing to master. If you take a look at different pieces of professional writing you would probably see a difference in the ways the authors present their information. If you talk to different teachers they will give you different information. So who’s right? How is a student supposed to learn how to write when there is so much conflicting information? Every English teacher I have ever had has different ideas of what is really important when it comes to writing. Some have said that organization is the key, some think it is a strong thesis, some say it is grammar and punctuation, while others say it is presenting an argument, and supporting it. In my current class my teacher thinks that writing for an audience and maintaining a voice is the most important thing. In other classes I have had, teachers don’t even care as much about how the information is presented, just that it is presented at all. I have had classes where the teacher has written their own text book, and technically it is horribly written to the point that it is almost unreadable. So how is a student writer supposed to write to please their teachers if there are no overall rules to follow? I am a student and a writer, and I get confused of how to please my teachers while completing my assignments. So what advice would I give to other students? I would tell them that all of these things, about writing, that all of my teachers have told me over the years are equally important. If you don’t present an argument then the grammar doesn’t really mean anything, while if you use terrible grammar your argument may not be understood. To complete any assignment, in school, it is important to first understand what the assignment is, and what that specific teacher expects. Then the rest will come by using good organization, and making a clear, strong argument. It is important to maintain your own voice by presenting your information clearly, and then supporting it through the use of information from others that agree with you. Revision is also a very important aspect of writing because it allows you to go back as many times as you need to, making your assignment better each time. Not one of these processes is more important than the other, for they all complete the pieces of the writing puzzle.
Writing starts with having a voice. It is a conversation with an audience, even though you do not always know who that audience will be. Whether you are saying it out loud or posting it on a blog you are still the one saying whatever is being said, and that is important. Your voice is your voice and no one else’s, although in an academic situation sometimes you have to tone it down a little. In school we usually know who our audience is; the teacher. The teacher/audience is going to give you a grade so it is important to include the required information, but the way that you do that depends on you. Early on in my educational career I had a teacher who asked us to write a paper on the subject of race. He was insistent that we did not touch on the subject of racism, but I felt that how could I talk about race without talking about racism. While researching for my assignment I found many people throughout history that said that the concept of race existed solely because of racism. Racism was the reason that people felt the need to classify people into races; it was to create a sense of superiority. I included ideas of racism anyways, and when I got my paper back from the teacher there was no grade and a note that said please come see me. I did and he told me I did not follow the assignment, and he would allow me to redo it. I said no because I felt that my argument was just, and the information that I used to maintain my argument was information that I got from him. I asked him why would he give us these articles, which include concepts of racism, if he did not expect us to use them? He was shocked by this and got angry. I then reminded him of how he had taught me to use my voice, and I did that. Whether he agreed with what I had to say or not didn’t matter because it was my essay, and I was not going to let him stifle my voice. That would go against everything he taught me. He was even more shocked, but he thought about it and said I was right. He reread my essay and said I made an interesting argument, and that he had not thought about it that way before. I got an A, and I maintained myself in the process. The moral of the story, be strong, don’t write something just because you have to. Make it interesting, and find something about the assignment that you want to talk about; the stronger the feelings, the stronger the voice, the stronger the assignment.
Now that you have a voice you need to give strength to it, and you can achieve this through the use of quotes from other sources that support what you trying to say. If you just ramble a bunch of thoughts onto a page, then people might ask who are you, or what makes you an authority? But if you give examples from other people then your reader will see that there are others, and you are not alone in the way you feel about things. In They Say, I Say Gerald Graff, Cathy Birkenstien, and Russel Durst say that giving support adds to the conversation. They say “that to give writing the most important thing of all—namely, a point— a writer needs to indicate clearly not only his or her thesis, but also what larger conversation that thesis is responding to.” They say the best way to do this is by providing support from other individuals. It is also important to use quotes that are directly related to your topic, and it is information that you understand. In my experience, when I was an English tutor, many students would put quotes into their essays without truly understanding the point of the author. This just causes your argument to become vague, and confusing. Don’t just use information because you think it sounds intelligent, or the author used big words. It is important to use information that is meaningful to you. That when you read it, it caused the wheels in your brain to turn, and gave you inspiration. Sometimes this is the hardest part of completing an essay because it might take a lot of research to find the supporting information you need. In Ways of Reading An Anthology for Writers David Bartholomae and Anthony Petrosky say “one of the difficult things about reading is that the pages before you will begin to speak only when the authors are silent and you begin to speak in their place, sometimes for them—doing their work, continuing their projects—and sometimes for yourself, following your own agenda.” For students, most of the reading we do is for our own agenda because we need to complete assignments, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t find some kind of inspiration from what you are reading. Try to look for something that does cause you to think while you are reading. That is why we are students in the first place; to learn and expand our minds.
The next important piece of the puzzle is the way you organize it. Puzzle pieces only fit together one way, and it is the same for writing. An essay needs to have flow, and the only way to have that is by organizing your ideas into groupings. When you organize your file cabinet you wouldn’t, or shouldn’t, put your tax returns with your bank statements, instead you would make a separate folder for each, and an essay is the same way. A paragraph should only contain information that is relevant to that topic, and the topic sentence should reflect what that paragraph is going to be about. Graff, Birkenstein, and Durst say “The best compositions establish a sense of momentum and direction by making explicit connections among their different parts, so that what is said in one sentence (or paragraph) not only sets up what is to come but is clearly informed by what has already been said.” You achieve this through organization, and I find the best way for me to do this is by making an outline. When I create an outline I first think about what is my thesis, and what I call, my mini thesis’s, which are the sub-topics of my body paragraph. Once I have done this I know how many body paragraphs I will need to complete my essay. Next I try to come up with a hook, which will be my first sentence and will, hopefully, draw my reader into my conversation. I do this for each paragraph, but for my body paragraphs I try to tie that first sentence to the last sentence of the previous paragraph to create direction, and flow. Now that I have a basic frame for my puzzle, I just let the information pour out onto the page, emptying all the relevant information for my mind, and allowing it to be transformed into the written word. I try to keep my information as organized as possible, but sometimes it is just rambling. This is OK. You can fix this quite easily, through the process of revision.
This last point I can’t stress enough; REVISE, REVISE, REVISE! There has never been a writer in the history of writers that has not revised their writing. In Shitty First Drafts Anne Lamont says “The first draft is the child’s draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later. You just let this childlike part of you channel whatever voices and visions come through and onto the page.” It is impossible to write something the first time and not have mistakes. We are human, and we make errors, but the great thing is errors can be fixed. You just have to find them, and that requires you to re-read your work. You can do this as many times as you want, making your paper better and better every time you do it. I, personally, like to sit in a room by myself and read my paper out load. I feel like hearing it out load helps me catch run-on sentences, grammar and punctuation errors, and if I have created an over-all clarity to my paper. Every writer does it, so in this situation; conform because sometimes conformity is a good thing. It definitely is when it comes to the process of revision. I promise you if you really focus on your revision process your grade will improve, maybe even change from a B to an A. In the past, I did not focus on revision as much as I should have, and my grade definitely reflected that fact. There were times when I was sitting in class the day my assignment was due, looking it over, and I would see some stupid mistake that could have been fixed in less than a minute. I would be so angry because I knew that this was going to affect my grade, or cause me to have to complete some extra assignment that I could have avoided completely, if I had just read my paper one more time before I printed it out. Revision is not just a process of checking for run-on sentences, or grammar mistakes, it is also about checking for content. While you’re re-reading you want to make sure you are thinking about the argument you are trying to make, and that it is forming clearly as your paper progresses. Also, think about flow and repetition. Are you enjoying reading your paper? If you’re not, then nobody else is going to either; don’t bore or confuse your reader. You want them to remember and understand what you have written when they reach the last word. If they don’t then this page is going to be filed in the trash which would be very bad if you were hoping to receive nice comments and a good grade. In Revision Strategies of Student Writers and Experienced Adult Writers Nancy Sommers says “students are aware of lexical repetition but not conceptual repetition. Because students do not see revision as an activity in which they modify and develop perspectives and ideas, they feel that if they know what they want to say, then there is little reason for making revisions. Sommers says that this is what sets student writers apart from the experience because they don’t understand the importance of revision, all that is involved in the process. When I was a tutor, I found the biggest reason that students didn’t revise was laziness, and maybe a little anxiety. It’s ok, I am guilty of this myself. After you have worked on an essay you just want it to be done, and sometimes you are just sick of thinking about that topic. My suggestion is; find somebody else to read it over for you, or with you, but make sure that it is somebody who has some knowledge about writing, such as a teacher (yes, there are a few that will do this), a tutor (there free on campus), or a friend in the class who maybe did well on the last assignment. Going over your assignment with someone else can strike new interest in the subject through verbal conversation, or relieve anxiety through reassurance or help.
Now just breathe, and know that it is going to be ok, or can be. Just remember to have fun, or try. Writing can be very rewarding when you produce something you like. If you like it then other people probably will to. When you’re a student this is a good thing because it means that you have pleased your audience which is your instructor, but you also can take pleasure in your assignment because you pleased yourself. You accomplished the most important thing; you learned something that will be useful in the future. A few other points that I can make, which are minor but still important, are watch out for you comma usage (if you’re not sure then don’t do it), look for ways to connect your sentences through the use of words like although, which, therefore, however, etc. and don’t be afraid to use personal examples that relate to your topic (it’s your paper, so it’s ok to use yourself as a source.) Ask for help, most teachers that you will encounter in your educational career are happy to help. This is why they teach and the schools pay their salaries, so take advantage of it when you can. Your money is at stake as well, so spend it wisely. I have been lucky in the past to have had teachers who provide this assistance to me, but I had to speak up and ask for help. I, in time, became a proficient writer, but it took practice, and motivation to learn. I am still not perfect though, and no writer is, no matter how long they have been doing it. So relax, take pride in your writing, put a little thought behind it, and the puzzle will come together.

Essay #3- 2nd Draft

Writing
The English language is not an easy thing to master. If you take a look at different pieces of professional writing you would probably see a difference in the ways the authors present their information. If you talk to different teachers they will give you different information. So who’s right? How is a student supposed to learn how to write when there is so much conflicting information? Every English teacher I have ever had has different ideas of what is really important when it comes to writing. Some have said that organization is the key, some think it is a strong thesis, some say it is grammar and punctuation, while others say it is presenting an argument, and supporting it. In my current class my teacher thinks that writing for an audience and maintaining a voice is the most important thing. In other classes I have had, teachers don’t even care as much about how the information is presented, just that it is presented at all. I have had classes where the teacher has written their own text book, and technically it is horribly written to the point that it is almost unreadable. So how is a student writer supposed to write to please their teachers if there are no overall rules to follow? I am a student and a writer, and I get confused of how to please my teachers while completing my assignments. So what advice would I give to other students? I would tell them that all of these things, about writing, that all of my teachers have told me over the years are equally important. If you don’t present an argument then the grammar doesn’t really mean anything, while if you use terrible grammar your argument may not be understood. To complete any assignment, in school, it is important to first understand what the assignment is, and what that specific teacher expects. Then the rest will come by using good organization, and making a clear, strong argument. It is important to maintain your own voice by presenting your information clearly, and then supporting it through the use of information from others that agree with you. Revision is also a very important aspect of writing because it allows you to go back as many times as you need to, making your assignment better each time. Not one of these processes is more important than the other, for they all complete the pieces of the writing puzzle.
Writing starts with having a voice. It is a conversation with an audience, even though you do not always know who that audience will be. Whether you are saying it out loud or posting it on a blog you are still the one saying whatever is being said, and that is important. Your voice is your voice and no one else’s, although in an academic situation sometimes you have to tone it down a little. In school we usually know who our audience is; the teacher. The teacher/audience is going to give you a grade so it is important to include the required information, but the way that you do that depends on you. Early on in my educational career I had a teacher who asked us to write a paper on the subject of race. He was insistent that we did not touch on the subject of racism, but I felt that how could I talk about race without talking about racism. While researching for my assignment I found many people throughout history that said that the concept of race existed solely because of racism. Racism was the reason that people felt the need to classify people into races; it was to create a sense of superiority. I included ideas of racism anyways, and when I got my paper back from the teacher there was no grade and a note that said please come see me. I did and he told me I did not follow the assignment, and he would allow me to redo it. I said no because I felt that my argument was just, and the information that I used to maintain my argument was information that I got from him. I asked him why would he give us these articles, which include concepts of racism, if he did not expect us to use them? He was shocked by this and got angry. I then reminded him of how he had taught me to use my voice, and I did that. Whether he agreed with what I had to say or not didn’t matter because it was my essay, and I was not going to let him stifle my voice. That would go against everything he taught me. He was even more shocked, but he thought about it and said I was right. He reread my essay and said I made an interesting argument, and that he had not thought about it that way before. I got an A, and I maintained myself in the process. The moral of the story, be strong, don’t write something just because you have to. Make it interesting, and find something about the assignment that you want to talk about; the stronger the feelings, the stronger the voice, the stronger the assignment.
Now that you have a voice you need to give strength to it, and you can achieve this through the use of quotes from other sources that support what you trying to say. If you just ramble a bunch of thoughts onto a page, then people might ask who are you, or what makes you an authority? But if you give examples from other people then your reader will see that there are others, and you are not alone in the way you feel about things. In They Say, I Say Gerald Graff, Cathy Birkenstien, and Russel Durst say that giving support adds to the conversation. They say “that to give writing the most important thing of all—namely, a point— a writer needs to indicate clearly not only his or her thesis, but also what larger conversation that thesis is responding to.” They say the best way to do this is by providing support from other individuals. It is also important to use quotes that are directly related to your topic, and it is information that you understand. In my experience, when I was an English tutor, many students would put quotes into their essays without truly understanding the point of the author. This just causes your argument to become vague, and confusing. Don’t just use information because you think it sounds intelligent, or the author used big words. It is important to use information that is meaningful to you. That when you read it, it caused the wheels in your brain to turn, and gave you inspiration. Sometimes this is the hardest part of completing an essay because it might take a lot of research to find the supporting information you need. In Ways of Reading An Anthology for Writers David Bartholomae and Anthony Petrosky say “one of the difficult things about reading is that the pages before you will begin to speak only when the authors are silent and you begin to speak in their place, sometimes for them—doing their work, continuing their projects—and sometimes for yourself, following your own agenda.” For students, most of the reading we do is for our own agenda because we need to complete assignments, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t find some kind of inspiration from what you are reading. Try to look for something that does cause you to think while you are reading. That is why we are students in the first place; to learn and expand our minds.
The next important piece of the puzzle is the way you organize it. Puzzle pieces only fit together one way, and it is the same for writing. An essay needs to have flow, and the only way to have that is by organizing your ideas into groupings. When you organize your file cabinet you wouldn’t, or shouldn’t, put your tax returns with your bank statements, instead you would make a separate folder for each, and an essay is the same way. A paragraph should only contain information that is relevant to that topic, and the topic sentence should reflect what that paragraph is going to be about.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Essay #3- 1st Draft- Writing for Education?

The English language is not an easy thing to master. If you take a look at different pieces of professional writing you would probably see difference in the ways the authors present their information. If you talk to different teachers they will give you different information. So who’s right? How is a student supposed to learn how to write when there is so much conflicting information? Every English teacher I have ever had has different ideas of what is really important when it comes to writing. Some have said that organization is the key, some think it is a strong thesis, some say it is grammar and punctuation, while others say it is presenting an argument, and supporting it. In my current class my teacher thinks that writing for an audience and maintaining a voice is the most important thing. In other classes I have had, teachers don’t even care as much about how the information is presented, just that it is presented at all. I have had classes where the teacher has written their own text book, and technically it is horribly written to the point that it is almost unreadable. So how is a student writer supposed to write to please their teachers if there are no overall rules to follow? I am a student and a writer and I get confused of how to please my teachers while completing my assignments. So what advice would I give to other students? I would tell them that all of the things about writing that all of the teachers have told me over the years are equally important. If you don’t present an argument then the grammar doesn’t really mean anything, while if you use terrible grammar your argument may not be understood. To complete any assignment in school it is important to first understand what the assignment is, and what that specific teacher expects. Then the rest will come by using good organization, and making a clear, strong argument. It is important to maintain your own voice by presenting your information clearly, and then supporting it through the use of information from others that agree with you. Revision is also a very important aspect of writing because it allows you to go back as many times as you need to, making your assignment better each time. Not one of these processes is more important than the other, for they all complete the pieces of the writing puzzle.

Writing starts with having a voice. It is a conversation with an audience, even though you do not always know who that audience will be. Whether you are saying it out loud or posting it on a blog you are still the one saying whatever is being said, and that is important. Your voice is your voice and no one else’s, although in a academic situation sometimes you have to tone it down a little. In school we usually no who our audience is; the teacher. The teacher/audience is going to give you a grade so it is important to include the required information, but the way that you do that depends on you. Early on in my educational career I had a teacher who asked us to write a paper on the subject of race. He was insistent that we did not touch on the subject of racism, but I felt that how could I talk about race without talking about racism. While researching for my assignment I found many people throughout history that said that the concept of race exsisted solely because of racism. Racism was the reason that people felt the need to classify people into races; it was to create a sense of superiority. I included ideas of racism anyways, and when I got my paper back from the teacher there was no grade and a note that said please come see me. I did and he told me I did not follow the assignment, and he would allow me to redo it. I said no because I felt that my argument was just, and the information that I used to maintain my argument was information that I got from him. I asked him why would he give us these articles, which include concepts of racism, if he did not expect us to use them? He was shocked by this and got angry. I then reminded him of how he had taught me to use my voice, and I did that. Whether he agreed with what I had to say or not didn’t matter because it was my essay, and I was not going to let him stifle my voice. That would go against everything he taught me. He was even more shocked, but he thought about it and said I was right. He reread my essay and said I made an interesting argument, and that he had not thought about it that way before. I got an A, and I maintained myself in the process. The moral of the story, be strong, don’t write something just because you have to. Make it interesting, and find something about the assignment that you want to talk about; the stronger the feelings, the stronger the voice, the stronger the assignment.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Brainstorming

1. The writing that I do for school is different then other kinds of writing I do because it is usaully more thoughtful. I don't have to write much of anything besides for school. Just a email here or there really, but there is not usaully much context to it.

2. The most important aspect of writing to me is did I make a point and is it claer to the reader. I think my teachers would say the same because they taught me that.

3. The process that I go through when I write starts with an outline; What do I want to say and how do I want to say it. Next I make sure I know how I am going to do that while thinking about what is being asked of me. Then I just write, getting as much information down down as possible without getting lost in my own thoughts. I usually do this step a few times while stopping to read every now and then, and making any revisions that pop out. After all that then I read and revise until I can say ok I want someone else to read this.

4. I think I am a good acidemic writer, or at least I have always gotten good grades and nice comments. I do think I have problems with my thesis. It is not usually clear to my readers exactly, or it is missing some aspect of what is included in my essay.

Essay #3

I have to write an eight page research paper for my Gerontology class. The topic that I chose is how the elderly population contributes to society. The problem that I am having is narrowing down the topic and finding my areas of focus. I am not sure exactly what my thesis is going to be. So far I have thought about that older generations offer history. That their lifes have paved the way for the opportunities younger people like myself have today. That by listening to their stories younger people can possibly learn from those experiences and maybe avoid conflict in their own lifes.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Essay #2- Final Draft

America! The land of opportunity, or is it? Someone who took the time to look at our educational system might not think so. The educational system was set up in this country to educate citizens, so they would be able to participate within society, but over the years that idea has seemed to fade. In “The Educated Student: Global Citizen or Global Consumer?” Benjamin R. Barber points out the importance of education and why our public educational system was developed. He states “Whether you look at Thomas Jefferson in Virginia or John Adams in Massachusetts, there was widespread agreement that the new republic, for all of the cunning of its inventive and experimental new Constitution, could not succeed unless the citizenry was well educated.” Now when you look at our educational system you wonder what that education is really for; do we really get to participate, and if so, how? Many people see education as a way for the government to control citizens than let them actually make changes in this country. John Taylor Gatto says in Against School: How public education cripples our kids, and why, that our educational system actually keeps people from growing up, and creates a bunch of obedient children. Gatto says that “I had more than enough reason to think of our schools with their long-term, cell-block-style, forced confinement of both students and teachers as virtual factories of childness.” I know I don’t look back on my experience in the public schools and get happy thoughts. Instead I look at Gatto’s description and think about my own experience of educational prison! I was never taught to grow up, think for myself, on the other hand I was taught to be dependent on a system that wants me to be that exact way; obedient! During this process of making us subservient citizens we are also keep unequal by our educational system. The way funding is set up to the schools in this country does not provide the opportunity for all schools to be entirely equal because schools are funded mostly by the community they are located in and that may vary significantly from community to community. Financial background has everything to do with the person you will become because it determines the resources that will be available to you. This is why the educational system set up by our government has failed us as Americans in so many ways, for it has created a bunch of obedient servants who are separate not equal.

Over the course of history education has gone through many changes, although it started with a specific goal in mind, which was to prepare children for their futures. Education was something that mainly took place in the home in the days of the settlers, and the education that one would receive would be determined by many factors. It was not the traditional type of education we know of today, rather it was practical. A person learned what they needed to survive. If you were female, you learned to cook and tend to the house. If you were male then you would usually learn the trade of your father, or become an apprentice. As things progressed in our history and we were developing our system of government it was thought that education was a major factor, and when I take a look at our Constitution I know why. The wording alone is enough to confuse the real meaning for me. It was thought by our founding fathers that an educated citizenry would help keep this country in the hands of the people and keep Britain out. They also saw it as a basic right that everyone would be able to obtain, hence public education, funded by a government of the people for the people. But something happened along the way. Over the history of this country education evolved, but not necessarily in a good way.

In the early 1900’s education became more controlling through different theories, or systems of education. Gatto gives examples of events in history that show that our educational system moved toward a system similar to what was already being used in Prussia, which was purposely set up to control citizens in that country. As shocking as this may be it makes sense, and I believe it to be true. Gatto states “But what shocks is that we should so eagerly have adopted one of the very worst aspects of Prussian culture: an educational system deliberately designed to produce mediocre intellects, to hamstring the inner life, to deny students appreciable leadership skills, and to ensure docile and incomplete citizens 11 in order to render the populace “manageable.”” Many “experts,” as well as myself, would agree that our government is trying to keep us manageable. Just think back to first grade and how often you got in trouble for not raising your hand before speaking, or getting up from your desk, even if the teacher was not acknowledging you in the first place. Another reason children get in trouble in school is by stating opinions that vary from the teachers. I can remember being told I was off topic because my views didn’t match that of the teacher, or I was just asking for an expansion of their views. In The Function of the Schools Noam Chomsky says that the model for education today is set up like an educational assembly line. That we don’t encourage our children to think for themselves, but tell them learn this and if you don’t then you’re a behavior problem. So now that we are obedient servants that know nothing, and are kept manageable by our government can it get any worse? The answer is yes it can.

Education is also something that keeps the citizens in this country unequal, and has been for some time because of the way the funds are distributed. Schools in this country are supposed to be funded by property taxes, as well as the tax revenues from local businesses. Anyone can take a look around from city to city and see how that can make a difference in the amount of money schools are getting in each. In basic terms if the city looks good then the schools probably are too, but if it looks bad then most likely the quality of the schools are suffering as well. The government is then supposed to step in with more money to make things equal. In Savage Inequalities Jonathan Kozol tells us about the foundation program which was set up, in the 1920’s, to make education equal for children of different social classes. This program gives money to schools in poor neighborhoods to make up for the lack of tax revenues for their own communities. The big problem is that the schools in wealthy communities also get money from the government which is not needed. Kozol also talks about some of the conditions of the schools in poorer communities, not enough books for the overcrowded classrooms, bathrooms which are so bad I would rather not mention, and the level of education itself. Over the years I have seen this scenario time and time again. I grew up in a city where there were more people than money, so my school and education suffered, but I knew other people living in wealthier communities who attended schools that were clean and didn’t have class sizes of 35 plus. Even if we are being taught to be obedient servants we should be able to be equal ones. Historian Joel Weinberg once said that the state could have done a better job if they didn’t even try at all. If the state treasurer would have randomly thrown checks from an airplane then things would have been more equal than they are right now.

In 1776 Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence and it states:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.—That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, —That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness”

These words were written to give citizens in this country a different life then the oppression that they had come from, but they no longer apply for the people today. I don’t feel like my country has given me my basic right of “Liberty” or helped me on my own “pursuit of Happiness,” actually it is the opposite. My government offered a free education to me, but it was not entirely free. It was forced, and came with many laws and rules. It did not help me to participate in society, but rather taught me not to want to. The only thing our educational system offers now is a way for the government to compare the progress of children in this country to others. It is important for us to look good even if we really are not. Even in a country like Cuba where people live under a horrible dictator, or at least that is what we are told, there is a 98% literacy rate. Can we say the same about our literacy rate? Definitely not! In China children learn multiple languages at a young age. We cannot say the same about our own children. In fact some children here don’t even know how to use their native language, English. It is time for a new assessment of how children are educated within our schools. We need to do away with standardized testing, or at least the way it is used. We should be using that information to place children in classes with other children who are at a similar level, rather than placing them in classes determining where they should be because of age. Teachers should not be given a chance to become slackers through the use of tenure. We need to force our government to fund schools equally, so every child has similar opportunities; rich or poor. We need to force parents to be more involved in their children’s education, and why it should be valued. Also we need to provide an education to children that is worth valuing, and prepares them for a bright future. Children are our future, they are the people that will be providing for people like me in my old age, and I know I would rather have that be someone who has received a valuable education then not.